Motivation drives me, because I am not disciplined.  If I hate doing something, chances are I won't do it.  That probably explains why it's so difficult for me to swim freestyle.

Should I try again and again to learn freestyle or should I perfect my breaststroke?  Heck, why am I swimming??!?!  Arrgh, I hate my addiction problems.

Anyway I checked the Ironman Langkawi cutoff timings already:

Starting at 7am, one has 2hr 20mins to complete 3.8km of swim.  The next cutoff for the bike is at 10hrs 30mins, which even if you take away 2hr 20mins still leaves more than 8hrs - more than sufficient time for me as I don't figure I will take longer than 6hrs for this.  I did Desaru 1/2 at 2hrs 36mins and that was pretty easy; in fact I was going FASTER at the end of that ride, and have not quite recovered from the previous week's Sentosa Race.  All in all, that gives me an extra 2hrs edge to run the full marathon, before the cutoff at 17hrs.  Even if I hit the edge of the bike timing, there is 6hrs 30mins to run 42km.

I did 2hrs 23mins for my Desaru Half-Ironman walk.  Don't figure anyone could go any slower than that!  I really was on the verge of simply moving as slow as slow permits.  So multiply by two is still five hours.  Without running.  Not even jogging.  Just moving fast enough to not call it a walk.  Like Big Walk style.

Mathematically, there shouldn't be a problem completing the Ironman event.  My biggest problem will be the swim, so if I can complete 50laps or 5km in the pool, in 2hrs 20mins, I should probably start learning to swim in the sea.

81 days to train.  Will they accept someone who has never done a triathlon before?

There is yet another problem.  The USD340 entry fees, not including hotel stay and food and travelling.  Anyone reading this is invited to contribute to the "Torture Bernard Funds" cash pool.

I was at Trek3 during lunch to collect my pedals.  Saw my new bike.  It looks so small, and I was trying to find the sizing printing on it but couldn't.  Rushed back to work.

Thoughts of Ironman still fill my head.  I wonder why only half the field completed, including some people who were doing superbly on the swim and bike.  Cynthia didn't complete either despite coming in tops for swim and cycle.  I should talk to her.  The first Singaporean in (excluding Mika Kume) is David Tay (128th) 1:18 swim, 7:22 bike, 4:25 run.  Razani, Malaysia's top triathlete, came in 25th.  Kohing Antak - another Malaysian whom my biking time and standard is similar to - came in 50th.  226 people completed, out of 409.

Completing it seems do-able, but what am I doing it for?  To prove something?

Joyce emailed me some advice for living a dog's life:

When loved ones come home, always run to greet them. 
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Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride.
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Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
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When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
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Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
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Take naps. Stretch before rising.
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Run, romp, and play daily...in your case train daily?
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Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
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On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
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On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
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When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
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No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout... run right back and make friends.
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Delight in the simple joy of a long walk
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Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
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Be loyal.
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Never pretend to be something you're not.
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If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
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When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

They spelt Esther's surname wrongly in the Sun papers - Esther Tan, not Tay.  Found out that her childhood friend who joined us for dinner on Sat called her by chinese name.

G.I. Jane... heh.  Gee, even I can't do one-handed pushups.  Yeah, agree with her statement, she can't have a bf who competes also, else the two will always be competing.

Thomson group 2 was slow today, as we got dropped by group 1 right from the start.  The pace wasn't really moving and a few times some of us, including myself, came from the side to start pulling at higher speeds.  It's kinda weird when ride starts falling below 35kmh lor.  One time I rode up to catch KB and thought the rest were behind then saw nobody, so I decided to make a break for it with KB and JK.  THEN the group decided to pull us back.  At Lim Chu Kang, the pace slows down again and I end up pulling to the front and up the pace.  Near the end point a strong guy was pulling up to 43kmh and when it was my turn, I dropped the speed to 37kmh, where two fellows suddenly made a break for it and from the front, I just started sprinting for them.  Only the three of us made it to the end but I was too tired to fight for position by then already, pooped by the effort to pull back to them.

Drank stuffs at Newton as usual, where the ride ends, then head out to East with F91 and he bonked really bad so we went for food and after that I reached Trek3 Frankel and left my bike there because Nurul's not around.  Will chat with him tomorrow and hope my new bike will be ready by Wed.

I found out what's the problem.  A few nights back I shifted the fan slightly and couldn't quite get it back into the same position, so there has been the slightest breeze on my face when I sleep, so I wake up with gooey in my lungs and don't really feel rested.  Managed to change the fan positions again, and switched to a lower settings so now no more wind in the face except when I'm riding fast.

Had a good ride today, as we picked up Refik who joined us last min and we took off to Holland Rd, Bukit Timah and picked up pace for the first "interval" where I pulled the group at 43kmh with a lot of drafting from the cars.  Turning into Kranji we dropped both Refik and Joyce, me taking the pull at above 39kmh while Esther followed closely behind then I let her take the pull but the speed dropped to 33kmh and even lower eventually - Esther too is pooped.  Esther noted that it was quite easy when following me but when out in the wind, it felt a lot harder and speed dropped.  We wait for the two who didn't take too long to arrive before we reached the emergency runway.  At first I pull at an easy 37kmh (well... more like 38+kmh) then as Refik got dropped, we decided to up the speed all the way to 43kmh.  Waited for Refik (still jetlag) then turned into NTU, where we had a bit of confusion as the route I am used to is not the same as the route they are used to.  Finally after a round of NTU race route with Esther, we left and dropped Refik off near his place, close to Bouna Vista.  Headed to Centrepoint where we topped up drinks then decided to head home in a shortened ride, easy pace... 35kmh now feels like a breeze.

Total distance covered: 78.8km, in 2hr 42mins (cycling time) avg 29.1kmh, max 55kmh, hr 134bpm, which is a rather hard ride on the road.

I'm up.  Weird time.  Feel weird.  Hmmm.  I think I have pillow problems.  Still and again.  Decided to change look of blog by just the slightest.

cough cough...

Either I am sick, burnt out, or just plain tired.  Anyway regret a bit having the curry fishhead yesterday as I ended up with stomach problems in the evening.  Went to Spin class and couldn't even push a light gear so I ended up doing full recovery.  Legs are really leaden.  Could be from all the standing I did on Wed (2 hours) while at ACS Lab.  I skipped cycling this morning too. 

Coughing.

My stomach is feeling better after breakfast; trying to clear as much of the junk as I can but I think it will generally take a few days to fully clear out.  In the meantime, no more heroic stuffs like drinking curry soup.

ACS Lab is at Barker Rd, and they have the facilities to conduct a full VO2 max and Lactate Threshhold.  Went to check it out with ANZA group on Wed and will be doing my own test with them next Wed.

Expensive.

I'm still feeling a bit on the down side, not to mention the fat side.  Things are not looking good, after a fantastic 182bpm ride on Tue.

Urgh... talk about people with no tact.  Someone wrote to me in email: "You look fat BUT still good leh."  Kanasai.

Arrrgh, God.  Why can't you make EVERYONE else fat??! (coz I know I can't be thin).

"Whatever it takes to get you there"

Those are the words Adrian told me when I told him I was swimming breaststroke style.  He told me that he too started off with breaststroke.  That's pretty encouraging.  I think if I can really hit it off for 50laps (5km) swim in another month, I will start training for running too.  But it's still too early to say or decide anything.

Otherwise, I really don't know why am I doing swimming now... but it's starting to get addictive.

Today I can also feel the muscles under my arms.  Wooo...

Spin class was good (and bad for the bike).  I had this bad sore throat and virus that seems to be running round and put my whole body on halt.  Maybe that's why I've been feeling tired but I started off straight on a high gear and the bike started whining!  I use the bike at my old place, the one that is at the corner of the class because I am late already and the rest of the bikes seem to be taken up already.  The whining is quite continuous and doesn't stop for the first 20 mins, which blended in quite well with the music and I can't be bothered to be bothered by what others thought of the "music".

The squeaking sound actually is caused by the flywheel on the spin bike not lubricated properly or something, but I think it started when a few weeks back, I pulled a very very hard gearing and continued even when it started protesting, on this same bike.  After that it seemed to have learnt to squeak constantly, much like how I've learnt to grunt and groan.  So tonight, I'm left with a steady "eeeeeeeeeeeeeee" sound as I push a very high gearing.  It didn't seem to affect my ride though but at nearer to the end of the class when I didn't have enough strength to push on at the high gears, it got a bit irritating and momentum breaking as it went from squeak to non-squeak.  The force went from high to low without the squeak and kinda made me able to move forward suddenly, then a sudden stop again as it caught again, and after a few of these I just gave up and spun a low gear instead.  Fortunately it was near the end of the class already, not to mention I also kinda felt bonked out, very weak, after 20mins of heavy pushing - prob from the virus.

Still I did a second class (changed bike) and pushed a relatively high gear still, switching from a full circle nice rounded cycling style to mashing and stamping on the pedals.  It took some time for me to go back to my old style of mashing and stamping; I've become quite efficient at pedalling circles until I don't even think about it, but it causes my knees to hurt more due to the pulling effect.  Mashing the gears helped me the last time I had knee problems and it is the same now (as of this morning, I hardly feel the knee joints giving problems anymore, but I still band up the left knee), but I am also very tired.

Had some Jap food after class, the browsed around HMV before heading back home by MRT.